[dropcap]W[/dropcap]hy Aren’t You Letting Go Of The Past?
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When I was a trainee psychotherapist, I must have asked that question a thousand times.
I asked doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists … anyone I thought might know the answer.
Just why do people seem to cling to painful memories?
The question is VITAL because the past will eat your future unless you know how to move on from it.
Unless you have some mechanism, some skill for letting go of the past, it can devour your future.
Painful or traumatic experiences can hold you to ransom.
It will paralyse you … and maybe you know someone that’s happening to right now.
[Tweet theme=”basic-white”]Why aren’t you letting go of the past?[/Tweet]
Why, for example, would somebody who’d escaped from an abusive relationship, not only keep talking about it decades later, but still avoid relationships like the plague – even though they were desperately lonely?
Or, why would a perfectly intelligent, multi-talented man, who witnessed his father’s business collapse when he was a small child, stubbornly refuse to invest his small fortune in a business of his own more than forty years on?
Instead, he takes one mind-numbing menial job after another, loathing them, but feeling he has no alternative.
Nowadays, I do know the way out of this trap, and I’m going to reveal it to you in just a moment.
But first, let’s understand a bit more about why we cling to the past, even when it’s depriving us of a future, of fun, love and prosperity.
At first glance it seems counter-productive.
Think of a hunter-gatherer living in a traditional tribal culture.
One day he goes out with his companions hunting big game and gets mauled by a lion. He survives, but is he likely to avoid hunting for ever more? People would go hungry!
My psychotherapy tutors told me it was down to one thing: “Fear.”
It seems reasonable – our subconscious is trying to protect us from pain and it’s a survival instinct.
So I was told.
But there’s something wrong with that answer.
Consider my hunter and the lion analogy. The hunter may learn from it and be more careful in future, but it’s unlikely he’d quit hunting.
[Tweet theme=”basic-white”]The hunter who gets mauled by a lion doesn’t quit hunting. [/Tweet]
Besides, the answer isn’t consistent.
There are plenty of people, primitive and modern, who have overcome traumas of all kinds and lived astonishing lives. (Think of Oprah, for example, or Jim Carrey who was homeless at one time.)
What are they doing differently from the ones who hold onto their pain?
It has to be them, doesn’t it? There is no other variable.
It doesn’t matter the person’s age, gender or what the traumatic experience was, so it must be them. And if they can do it, anyone can.
Letting Go Of Someone You Love
You might think that having lost my mother to cancer when I was nine years old that I’d have had some practice at letting go of someone.
But it didn’t seem to work that way for me. Perhaps because I spent half my childhood motherless or maybe due to other factors, I had no sense of myself as a man by the time my hormones did! I was timid to the point of cowering when it came to asking girls for dates. As a result, I’d end up with the desperate or the wounded ones who would always ending up jilting me.
This was a mixed blessing as you might imagine! I wasn’t in love with any of them, (although I sometimes thought I was), but the serial rejections only served to convince me that I was unloveable and so the cycle continued well into adulthood.
Now, I’m not regaling you with all of this personal history so that you can exercise your Kleenex dabbing skills. I’m merely pointing out that as well as building myself a massive back catalogue of painful memories, I too believed I was stuck in a pattern from which there was no escape.
It was a veritable labyrinth of pain.
The Answer Comes
Eventually, during my training, I attended a course in London where I was taught a powerful technique for rapidly healing painful and traumatic memories. I’ve used it successfully hundreds of times since and I’ve never known it fail … on anything.
(I once helped a colleague who’d had a close shave with a huge truck that could have killed her on her way to work. She was shaking and sobbing until I used the process on her. Twenty minutes later, she was fully functioning at work – as a nurse.
And a gentleman who came to me once needed to make peace with how he and his father were before his father passed away … and he achieved that peace within about half an hour.)
It was doing that course that made the penny drop on the true answer.
It isn’t the fear, because the fear is part of the pain itself. When the memory is let go, the fear leaves along with the rest of the pain. All the emotional elements are neutralised.
No, it’s much, much simpler than that.
The answer is that people hold onto their pain because they don’t believe they have a choice.
The ones who get free know instinctively that they can use their mind differently, or, they’ve been shown that they can, (as I was).
Freedom from a painful past is an incredible gift.
You have more choice and no more fear.
When you know that emotional healing is as possible as physical healing, you befriend life again.
You get more enjoyment, more fun, more love and even more money (because you’re open to opportunities and are more willing to take risks.)
And if you’re stuck with some pain of the past that haunts you and limits your life, now you know there is a choice.
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[divider_line]Get Free Of The Past[/divider_line]
I created a program to free you – or anyone – who’s stuck with the past eating up their future.
It’s called “The Magic Of Moving On” and of course I’ve included that traumatic memories healing process as an audio.
I even remembered to include a rapid confidence booster too!
This is one of my most powerful – and empowering programs.
I hope it frees you.
NOTE: “The Magic Of Moving On” is on a dimesale, which means the price rises with every sale. To get the best possible value, click to download your copy now.
