I quit my job in 2013.  I’d simply had enough.

Well, I say “simply” but we both know that’s not a simple decision.

I have bills to pay, mouths to feed, responsibilities.  These are the things my father told me to take seriously in life.  More than that, he demonstrated by the way he chose to live that such matters took priority over everything else.

Including whether you enjoyed your life.

This left me with an agonising dilemma as I entered adulthood.  My father had a business he hated, but it paid the bills.  When he’d told me, as I prepared to finish my education, that I should join him in it he reminded me that “you’ve got to make a living.”

I told him I wanted a life.

To put it bluntly, I wanted to succeed in life AND be happy.  I didn’t see why I couldn’t have both.  (And I still don’t).

In the end, I compromised.  I carved a career – a good one as it turned out – in the field of mental health and mostly loved it for the first twenty years or so.

But then, as I aged, political agendas mattered more and I climbed the management ladder, I became jaded.  Besides, I felt ever more strongly that I had more I could offer the world.

And so, the internal conflict began.  I wanted to quit because I was no longer enjoying my work.  I’d succeeded, some might argue, but I wasn’t happy.  No siree.

My father, despite no longer being physically here, warned me loudly, clearly and frequently about making a huge mistake.  I couldn’t ignore him … not until I found a louder, clearer voice at any rate.

And so it was that for many years I made the worst of all possible decisions.

Looking back, I could have decided to find a way to make a decent fist of things and enjoy the job I had, somehow.  That wasn’t really on the cards, but it wasn’t impossible either.

Or, I could have decided years before I did to take my chances in the big wide world.  I could have cut and run at least seventeen years before I finally did.  I was emotionally ready.  Just not financially prepared.  And I was still scared of my Dad.  Scared, not of him as a person, but that he might be right.

At first, that seemed comfortable and sensible.  The status quo was maintained.  I was earning decent money.  We could afford nice holidays and my time off – when I should have been free to do my own thing – was not inconsiderable and pretty flexible too.

But the reality was, I didn’t stay still.  I didn’t even stagnate.  I deteriorated.

For a start, I wasn’t getting any younger.  Life began passing me by at greater and greater speed.  People, who had been children last time I checked, began succeeding in life – as young adults.  Their successes -as well as their apparent happiness – were in those self-same areas of life I’d dreamed of participating in for decades.  And there I was, still stuck to the spot, taking home a decent paycheque in the hope that one day I’d get my big break.  Even though they’d somehow carved theirs out, seemingly without really trying!

What did they know that I didn’t?  (I’ll tell you in a moment.)

My compromise – decent pay and flexible hours – didn’t work.  Often I was too tired to achieve much on my days off.  More truthfully, I wasn’t very motivated because I was going to be paid at the end of the month no matter what.  Although I was vaguely aware that that attitude condemned me to yet another month on the treadmill I despised, I was seduced again and again by this “manana” attitude.

And life ticked by.

It did eventually dawn on me that I had the wherewithal to get free of this seeming never-ending loop of life without living.  Not only did I have it, but I’d actually been professionally trained to use it!  I’d spent years training as a psychotherapist, mostly paid for by the British National Health Service.

I’d helped countless people use the power of their own thoughts to change their lives – from rescuing family relationships, to coming to a place of peace regarding loss or being abandoned.  I’d helped people overcome traumatic memories that had haunted them for years.  I helped them break addictions.  I could fix phobias and enable them to see triumph in any adversity.

In short, yes, I’d helped a ton of people to succeed and to be happy – or at least to be more successful and happier than they were before they met me.

Then, in November 2013, I got sick.  My body was sick, and I was sick of the life I’d been living.  As I rested, (because I had no choice), I began to heal.  And as my energy seeped back and thoughts became clearer, finally I saw that I had the power to release myself from what I at last could see was self-imposed bondage.

Once I did that, freedom was instantly mine.  Like Dorothy’s magic shoes in “The Wizard Of Oz,” I’d had the means to “get home” all along.  I just hadn’t noticed.

Within three weeks of quitting my job, I began to succeed financially.  And do you suppose that made me happy?  Through the roof it did!  And the happier I became, the more successful I was … until the whole thing became a merry-go-round of happiness and success and I couldn’t tell which was which or which came first.

Happiness is success, isn’t it?

The principle is simplicity itself.  Thoughts, you see, give rise to feelings.  And feelings determine the choices you’ll make.  Thoughts, feelings, actions – they’re all one connected daisy chain.

Most people, it turns out, believe that thoughts, for the most part, just show up unbidden.  They also believe that they can’t help the way they feel.  And how they act is because, well, that’s just the sort of person they are.

Which would all be very well if those people were also happy with their lives and liked themselves.  But most of them aren’t – and don’t!

Look around you.  Who do you know who loves their work and their life and is also comfortable in their own skin?  If you do know anyone, they’ll spring to mind immediately because they’ll stand out like the proverbial sore thumb!  Most people are content-ish with their compromised lives, and muddle along with average or below average self esteem.

Most people will happily (or unhappily), tell you that they are “nothing special.”  And thus they remain relatively unhappy and unsuccessful.

That’s a genuine tragedy, because actually, everyone is special.  Uniqueness is a gift granted to us all.  It comes in looks, in talents, in understanding, beliefs, values, humour, quirks … and a million other tiny ways that makes us loveable.

And it frees us to succeed and be happy all the time … effortlessly … because you’re just being you, after all.

Once you really really get that you not only can, but you already DO, make a unique difference in the world, you start trusting your instincts and following your heart.

To make that happen, first you need to take charge of your own thoughts so that you’ll feel better and make better choices.

That’s how I did it.

If you’d like details of the method I used, follow this link where there’s a 12 minute video that explains it.

I’d be lying if I said there were no down days.  But there are definitely no bad days, because I’m choosing how my days turn out – every last one of them!

And whilst I don’t welcome every challenge, life would be dull if it was all plain sailing all of the time!

I look forward to every day.  I believe I make a difference in more ways than I can now count – and I’m not restricted by endless regulations and pointless red tape either.

I sleep well – and for as long as I need – every night.  I make life up as I go along.  I like who I am and who I’m becoming more than I ever thought I would – or could.

I’ve learned to trust my own resourcefulness, (a well that will never dry up), and my intuition – which guides me subtly yet distinctly, sometimes in the most surprising directions.

Have I made mistakes?

Well, I’ve blundered down some blind alleys, that’s for sure.  But I’m not so sure I’d regard them as mistakes.  I got a lot of useful feedback from those experiments.

But I’m still here.  The bills are being paid and, sorry Dad, but I am having a life too.

That’s what matters.  To me at least.  How about you?

(If you answered “yes,” watch the video now – click to see).