Tony Robbins says that we think in questions. The only problem is, we tend to ask ourselves questions that are self sabotaging, which undermine our confidence and generally trip us up.

We ask, “What if it all goes wrong?”

And, “Who, me?”

Or, “What’s wrong with me?”

To make matters worse, we mostly don’t even realise we’re doing it.

I was a practicing psychotherapist for a number of years and the only tool my profession had to work with were questions. Ask the right questions and they change people’s lives – for the better and permanently.

But have you ever thought that you can ask yourself better questions? You could ask yourself questions that empower you, that enhance your creativity, questions which boost your confidence, questions that grow you as a person.

And you don’t need a shrink to do it, so you’ll save money too!

Here are five good reasons to make asking yourself questions a daily habit:

1. Questions make your brain more flexible.

We all love puzzles, and that’s because the brain loves being occupied. So why not ask it some good questions to help you solve problems and be creative? Your brain will build new templates or modify old ones and you’ll be stuck far less often.

2. Questions give you the edge.

As your brain becomes more flexible it acquires the ability to absorb new ideas and information more readily. In turn, that gives you a wider scope when considering problems, enhancing your ability to see things from multiple points of view.

3. You get there faster when you repeat questions.

Make it a daily habit to ask yourself empowering questions like, “What can I do today to bring me closer to my dream life?” At first your brain may take a while to come up with anything, but by repeating the question daily, answers will come faster, plans will clarify themselves and you’ll feel better for knowing that you’re moving in the direction of your dream.

And when you’re following your dream, you’re generally happier, which is not only nice for you, but it makes you a nicer person to be around too. Perhaps even inspirational!

4. Questions are the road to inner peace.

I’m a firm believer in meditation, but expecting it – or any relaxation technique – to bring you peace when you’re in turmoil inside is a bit like running east hoping to see the sunset.

Asking empowering questions that move you towards the goals and dreams that matter to you is a very simple yet profound way of working on your own growth. And if you include questions about your own personal happiness, you’ll find yourself smiling more and more often. Moreover, you’ll be proud of yourself for taking steps – no matter how small – in the direction that matters to you.

5. You’ll handle criticism better – from inside and out.

Everyone hates a bully, yet many of us bully ourselves!

Be honest. Have you ever had thoughts such as, “I’m not good enough …” or “I just can’t …” or “So-and-so is much better than me, (or better looking, or more talented … you fill in the blank.)”

If you’re beating up on yourself regarding your looks, your ability or the results you’re getting in any area of life, your inner critic needs a holiday. Preferably a permanent one.

You need a better way to deal with external criticism too. When you feel better about yourself from the inside then they have fewer – if any – nerves to hit and you’ll find yourself brushing off what they say or they’ll simply stop saying that stuff. After all, there’s no point if it has no effect!

Asking yourself empowering questions can help you achieve all of that.

Here are some empowering questions you can ask yourself every day. Of course, feel free to make up your own. The important thing is to make this a habit.

In the morning:

What’s at least one thing I can do today that will take me closer to my goals or dreams?

How can I manage my time so that I move in that direction?

During the day, something like this:

How could I feel even better than this?

And if you find yourself embroiled in activities you’d prefer not be doing, you could always ask:

How can I feel better about this? (Hint: try changing your physiology! Tony Robbins is a great advocate of doing that. How would you do whatever you’re doing if you were Superman or Superwoman?)

And at bedtime:

What were at least three things that were great about my day?
What have I learned today? (Doesn’t necessarily mean academic learning!)
What could I have done differently?

The final question is much better than, “what did I do badly or wrong?”

That’s just another way to beat yourself up and you don’t want that at any time of day, and especially not when you’re getting ready to sleep.

By asking what you could have done differently, your brain will search for alternatives but that doesn’t mean that would have been better. Just knowing that there are always choices is enough.

You can also ask, “What beliefs are holding me back?” And then, “What would a better belief be?” Followed by, “How can I believe that instead?”

Let your brain come up with the answers – it’s what it’s for! And it will do a lot of that work whilst you’re sleeping too, so don’t be surprised if all kinds of bright ideas start popping into your head during your morning shower or run!