As you read this, your subconscious is hard at work.

It’s doing billions of bodily things for you, leaving you free to go about your business.

At the same time, it’s running dozens, maybe hundreds, of “programs” in the background any of which may conflict with one another or even sabotage your success.

It doesn’t mean you any harm.  It’s not the enemy.  In fact, it’s a very reliable and loyal computer that is simply doing whatever it’s been told to.  Without question or judgement.

And that’s the problem.

You see, your parents probably gave you one set of rules.  Your teachers told you some behaviours weren’t acceptable, even though they were okay at home.

The world was supposed to deliver on some things, but when it didn’t live up to expectations you figured out your own hypotheses that over time solidified into beliefs.

They may have been about your own lack of abilities.  Or your prowess as a lover.  Your clumsiness.  Your inability to spell or add numbers.

A million things.

They feel true to you because they’re familiar as your carpet slippers.  (If you don’t have carpet slippers, substitute your own favourite item of clothing.  But I’m sure you get my point.)

The difficulty is, because they’re lodged in your subconscious, it would seem difficult if not impossible for you to get in there and change the programming.

Fortunately, you’d be wrong.

Here are 3 things you can do immediately to start changing the programming.  Before you do any of them, assess on a scale of 1 to 10 how you feel.  Make 10 out of 10 “on top of the world” and 1 out of ten defeated – or whatever works for you in context.

Then, after you’ve tried each little experiment, check the number again.  It won’t necessarily move to ten each time, but the instantaneous positive feedback you’ll feel may surprise you!

Talk to yourself out loud in the third person.  For example, say, “You’re a very capable person, Name.  You’ve been really creative before and I’m proud of you today.  You always find a way through…” 

You may need to lock yourself in the bathroom so your family doesn’t think you’ve completely lost it, or time when you’re driving is also an excellent opportunity for this kind of self talk.

You’ll be amazed at how this drowns out the negative self talk.

2. Change your body language.  This is a perennial favourite of mine and works every time.  Square your shoulders, take a deep breath and put a big grin on your face, (it releases endorphins – feel good chemicals – in your brain, so do it!)  You can even add a swagger to your walk – but not if you’re driving obviously!

3. Acknowledge yourself.  This is best done on paper and so take a little more willpower to get going, but the after effects are more than worth it.

At the top of a blank sheet of lined paper write, “I acknowledge myself for …” and then start writing.  The objective is to fill every line of the page as fast as possible without pausing or censoring.

Anything – any positive trait, no matter how small or insignificant will do. So, examples might be:

“ … for loving animals.”

“… making breakfast in bed for my lover yesterday.”

“… for being romantic sometimes.”

“… for being creative on my Facebook page”

And if the flow of ideas begins to dry, just write:

“… for keeping going doing this exercise.”

This may stimulate more thoughts such as:

“… for keeping going at other times even though I was exhausted.”

“… for driving the family safely home after the Christmas party at Grandma’s”

The point is to start accepting yourself as someone who is likeable and who makes a difference, because all too often we’re far, far too hard on ourselves.

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