[headline_arial_medium_centered color=”#cc0000″]This post has the potential to help a lot of people. Please use the Facebook or Twitter buttons to share it. Thank you.[/headline_arial_medium_centered]
Bullying isn’t confined to the school playground, neither does it stop when you grow up. You can be bullied at any age, any place.
Are some people really better than you? Do they know more? Are they perfect where you’re imperfect?
Those questions may make you squirm, or perhaps you’re one of the minority who answers, “No, of course not!”
Why am I even asking such odd questions?
Well, most of us form our opinion of ourselves – or at least part of it – by comparing ourselves to others.
I’m sure you’ve heard people say things like, “Jim’s much smarter than me. He’s bound to get the job.” Or, “I could never do what you do. You’re so ….” and then you can fill in the blank.
Of course, a common experience that many of us have had is to shy away from asking someone very attractive for a date. We think they’d be “out of our league,” and even if you do cross that threshold, the risk is that you then spend all your time together worrying that she or he could have done so much better than you!
You’ll know if you’re suffering from this kind of self deprecating, esteem lowering inner talk because there will be regular times or situations when you’ll take the back seat. Maybe you let others win. Or perhaps you just run away from certain situations.
So let’s begin reversing the problem by getting some perspective, shall we?
You see, the primary mistake here is that you’ve based your opinion of yourself on entirely the wrong premise. That’s produced a catalogue of errors and misadventures – all unnecessary!
Right now, there are an estimated seven billion humans milling about on this little planet. Not one of them will agree with you about absolutely everything. (Believe me – you’ve never met anybody who does or will. And if you don’t agree with me about that, I’ve just proved my point!)
Now, that could mean that they are all wrong about something or other and that you are the only person who’s got everything figured out.
That would make you the most arrogant person alive, although we all do have a tendency to think we know best!
Alternatively, you could reason that the other seven billion probably have most things right and that you are the odd one out, scoring zero on the scale of “how to get life right.” (Thank goodness, there’s no such thing!)
Or you could take the only sensible way of reading that statistic and conclude that everybody is different.
That’s it!
Everyone is different – in looks, in beliefs, in mannerisms, in how they make a cup of tea!
And the only response to that is to be interested in that fact!
There is no one to judge, and nobody who has a right to judge you. (Not that will stop them, but that’s their business!)
[headline_arial_small_left color=”#cc0000″]Wayne Dyer’s Opinion[/headline_arial_small_left]
The great American writer and spiritual coach, Dr. Wayne Dyer, once said that if he gives a lecture to a hundred people there are, at that moment, a hundred and one versions of his reputation in the room: everyone in the audience’s plus his own.
At the end of the lecture people will come up to him and say various things, which may range from, “That was wonderful,” to “I’m afraid I didn’t understand that,” to, “What a load of rubbish!”
Every one of them is right – in their mind.
If Dr. Dyer tried to please everybody all of the time, (and he has millions of readers and fans all over the world), he’d never get out of bed!
He knows that as long as he showed up, delivered, with integrity and passion, and to the best of his ability, the message he promised to deliver, that there was really nothing more he could have done.
His wonderful phrase summing up this message is, “Your opinion of me is none of my business!”
Your views, your way of doing things and seeing life, are as valid as anyone else’s!
[headline_arial_small_left color=”#cc0000″]So Why Do We Fall Into This Trap?[/headline_arial_small_left]
It’s because we fear that a basic human need will no longer be met unless we’re utterly compliant and complicit: the need to be liked.
We miss the point that people actually like people who are decisive, clear thinking and who know their own mind.
Now, as you know, I base a lot of my coaching and teaching on NLP, so I thought I’d show you a simple NLP process that you can use anytime to get you out of this pattern. It’s very easy to use, but it’s best shown as a video, so here it is:
[cleveryoutube video=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc-Q7QGS66Q&feature=youtu.be” vidstyle=”1″ pic=”https://wizardofwisdom.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/love_yourself_medallion_man.jpg” afterpic=”https://wizardofwisdom.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Presentation_background_by_eslamdesigns.jpg” width=”” starttime=”” endtime=”” caption=”NLP Coaching – How To Stop Feeling Bullied” showexpander=”off” alignment=”center” newser=””]
