3 Quick Ways To Restore Trust In A Relationship After A Heartbreak

If you’ve had your heart broken, perhaps due to infidelity or being left for another, it can seem almost impossible to find a way back to trust in a relationship – or any relationship – again..

And yet the alternative is to condemn yourself to perpetual loneliness – and the prospect of a bleak, loveless future.

How do you find the courage to risk giving your heart to another ever again?

Here are 3 tips that may shift the way you think – and feel – about considering the prospect of allowing love back into your life.

1. Flip the mirror around! In other words, stop concerning yourself with thoughts of what you might have done differently to save the relationship.  Whatever the other person did which hurt you is about them and their own insecurity – and very little to do with you, if anything.

I’m not saying you should spend your time and energy blaming them either – just notice that you are not “at fault.”  Faults in people, like beauty, are in the eyes, minds and hearts of the beholder.  You are perfect just as you are.  Everyone has to have their differences from other people – that’s what makes us unique – but “different” is not remotely the same as “imperfect.”

To put it another way: before you can put trust in a relationship, you first have to trust the relationship with yourself!

2. Stop generalising the pain.  Just because a man or woman hurt you doesn’t mean that every other man or woman will repeat that.  Nor does it mean that “relationships are bad things.”  If you have been hurt in similar circumstances more than once then, hard though this may be to hear, you are the common denominator.  Ask yourself what you could do differently or, more potently, how you could be different in your approach to relationships.  (Hint: It’s usually hiding somewhere in the self esteem area.)

3.  Have days out, not a perpetual honeymoon hunt. Allow yourself to go on ONE date with a person with absolutely no expectation other than you’ll have a good time, (and be a good companion), for that single experience.  (Wording chosen carefully there!)

Don’t try to assess whether he or she is “right” for you or if you could fall in love with them.  Just enjoy the day, afternoon or evening … whatever it is for what it is – the fun of meeting somebody new.

If you both had a good time, you may both want a second good time, just as if you watch the first episode of a new TV series you may find you want to see the next instalment.  If you don’t, it’s not a big deal.

Having this “one date at a time” mindset means there is no relationship to trust or not.  The very idea of putting trust in a relationship will seem absurd because now there are just two people enjoying each other’s company.

One date at a time is the key.  Nobody is asking you to fall in love that fast – and if they do, then they’re showing their desperation, and that’s definitely a sign you – or anyone – should run from.

In fact, nobody’s asking you to fall in love at all.  It’s not a requirement because it’s not a technique you can learn.

It’s a natural process, like crying when you’re sad and laughing when you’re happy.

Let it be – you’ll enjoy life much more and that’s something you can safely fall in love with.

If you’d like more in depth ways to move on from the pain of lost love and learn how to restore trust in a relationship, then click here to learn more about my self help program, “The Magic Of Moving On.”